I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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