KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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