I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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