If i come over, it means nothing
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
