thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
