so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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