I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
