areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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