Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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