Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
