The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
