Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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