There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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