fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
