would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
