Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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