Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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