I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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