Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
