So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
