Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I understand Curling. That high.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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