ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
