just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
