Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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