I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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