Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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