Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
