So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
