i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
