I just made out with a guy for $7.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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