I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
