I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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