Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize