that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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