Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
