my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
