i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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