How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
