FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
