morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
