Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
