I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize