Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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