I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
