I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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