would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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