Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
