Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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