we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
