is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
honey bunches of taint.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
