He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
