we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
