wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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