arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize