It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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