community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize