I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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