I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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